I Curse on the BBC!


Here's a couple of clips of me cursing on the BBC Panorama show (kinda like their version of 60 Minutes). How it came about was kind of strange. I was helping to run a comedy night in an art gallery in Belfast. One of the women in the audience worked for BBC NI. Apparently there was a shortage of Americans in Belfast at the time and I fit the bill.

They weren't going to pay me until I asked them to do it. I earned the money, for sure, since I had to do each line about 20 different times, mostly because they made no sense what so ever.

Ok, I'm an idiot. I had no idea what "CSMF" meant either, and had to ask one of the BBC producers to explain it to me. But, come on, "Generality Infested"??? What does that mean? I've never heard anyone use that phrase.

The next one, though, is the one that REALLY got me....

WHAT?? "many new (torn worn to wall) assholes"? What does that even mean? Beyond that, it's REALLY hard to say. Try it.

Anyway, I got my £50 (that's $75) for about an hour's worth of work. And it was kind of fun. And I got to curse on the air.

The BBC guys were even nice enough to send me a copy of the DVD that I used to rip the files from.

Looking for Mr. Goodbar

A colleague at work recently returned from the States and brought back a bunch of American candy with her. Among the treasures was a mini-size Mr. Goodbar.  That reminded me of the movie, and I mentioned it to another Scotsperson, who looked at me like I was crazy. I've never actually seen the movie, just heard that it's pretty bleak and a good peek inside the swinging world of 1970s sex in New York City.

But what I didn't know what that the novel that the movie was based on was, in turn, based on the true story of Roseann Quinn. Ms. Quinn was a schoolteacher by day and a swinger by night, haunting the bars of New York City in an attempt to find gentlemen to engage in kinky sex with her.

Which is all fair enough. We're all adults here after all. If you do any more reading on Ms. Quinn, you'll find lots of psychoanalyzing about how she was rebelling against her strict Catholic upbringing and other failed relationships.

But that's not the most shocking part of her story.

No, the incredible part to me was that she was a schoolteacher in New York WHO COULD AFFORD TO LIVE IN MANHATTAN.

Now THAT'S shocking.

What was going on back in the 1970s that made New York City so affordable? Was it because of all the high crime rates that made people not want to live there and drove rents down?

Apparently apartments in that building rent for about $2000 a month now. Today, average New York teacher salaries start at about $45K. (Damn...really? And that's with like three months off of work, too).  So, I guess if you were a teacher and wanted to spend a lot of your paycheck on rent, it's doable.

I guess Ms. Quinn probably didn't have a whole lot of outside expenses, other than looking for the aforementioned Mr. Goodbar, so, upon further research, this doesn't seem quite as shocking to me anymore.

So what have we learned? Well, for one, I've learned that teachers in New York make way more money than I thought. Dizzam, if you have a doctorate, starting is almost $60K.

And secondly I've learned not to invite strange men back to my apartment.

I'll be watching the movie this weekend for further tips.